Worst Fear Take 2: Nightmare
Someone once asked me what my worst fear was. After I moved out of my parents house I easily found that my worst fear was my parents dying. On November 14th 2010 that fear became a half way a reality when my mother died (which is a whole convo within itself). This morning I awoke from a dream in which the other half of that fear became a reality. In the dream my dad had been shot or stabbed (can’t remember) in some strange occurrence. I was yet again and all too soon faced with the emotions I had when my mother first died. Strange twist was that my mom was helping run the funeral but she was still dead? I don’t know….anyway….I woke up from that dream a frantic mess. I’ve had plenty of dreams of people dying and taken not much thought, but given the fact that I dreamed my mother died 3-4 days before she actually did I surely was hoping this wasn’t a sign. There is nothing like that feeling of crippling fear where you can’t move, talk, or think straight. The concept of losing a parent is so real to me that the dream just couldn’t pass without it’s possible real implications being thought out. It wasnt a fun experience to say the least …it was crippling for a moment. Anyway…I say all this to say that fear is real and the reasons for it can be very legitimate. Even with it’s legitimacy the question is will I trust the Lord in the midst of those crippling fears and know that He has me? Hasn’t He kept me this far in the midst of the lost of my mother? There is no need to be anxious or worry. Trust Him Erica….trust Him. “For He had not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.” Amen.